During the Christmas season, "togetherness" is a top priority, at least on paper. Yet we should strive for interpersonal closeness all year round, even if it sometimes means stepping out of our comfort zone. Particularly in these unique times, nurturing our connections is important for us all, as studies show that good friendships and happy partnerships have positive effects on our health.
If physical contact is not possible this year or is only possible to a limited extent, you should maintain connections through video calls, phone conversations, or, if you prefer a personal touch, through letters. Why? Studies show that interpersonal exchange and togetherness are good for our health and give us a sense of purpose.
Friendship and love are timeless phenomena. And so it is no wonder that scientific studies are also interested in interpersonal closeness. For instance, a long-term study by Harvard Medical School, which has been running for 80 years, has examined the positive effects of friendships. According to the study, they strengthen our mental and physical state and help us remain emotionally balanced. The study also clearly showed that when it comes to relationships with other people, it is not about quantity, but rather that quality is the decisive factor.
Friendship makes you happy
A study from the University of Michigan demonstrated that friendships exert a positive influence on our quality of life, especially as we age. 270,000 people from 100 countries were surveyed. In fact, according to the study, friendships on average make us even happier than the companionship of family life. This was the result of analyzing the responses regarding the topics of happiness, health, and friendship.
Happy couples – better resilience
An interesting study was conducted by the Ohio State University College of Medicine with 42 married couples. It showed that wounds in happy couples heal on average five days faster than in those with conflicted marriages. The increased release of hormones like dopamine leads to reduced stress reactions and better healing powers. Good togetherness therefore promotes our health, reduces stress, and increases physical and emotional well-being.
"Togetherness" increases life expectancy
A well-functioning social network not only increases well-being and improves health – it also extends life expectancy. Researchers at Brigham Young University in Provo found this to be true. Based on data from 300,000 people across 148 previously published studies, they were able to prove that over an average period of 7.5 years, the mortality risk of socially connected subjects decreased—specifically by 50 percent compared to people living in social isolation. It was found that in lonely people, the risk of heart disease in particular is significantly increased.
Timeless values like gratitude
Humility, gratitude, and kindness—to some, these are outdated values. Yet they help us all lead a better life because they make togetherness significantly easier. The ability to take others seriously, to think of them, and to do something good for them is good for us, too. Secretly, we know that we depend on one another, and not just as children. We should definitely cultivate virtues that help us get along better with other people. Nothing makes our life better, not even wealth, success, fame, or power, which in principle are only detours to a good sense of togetherness. Christmas is an especially good time to reflect on the essentials.
Being there for others
The German word for "contemplation" (Besinnlichkeit) contains the word "meaning" (Sinn). And hardly anything makes our life feel as meaningful as successful togetherness. Sometimes it is only small words and gestures with which we reach out to and engage with others. These can be our friends, partners, or children, but also our parents, neighbors, or strangers on the street. Kindness is always beneficial for both sides. Ask with genuine interest how others are doing, stay open, and let yourself be surprised by how much warmth can come into your life.
Togetherness as social commitment
This Advent season is different. More than ever, people are asking themselves what gives their lives meaning. One answer to that is "social commitment." Those who support others feel a sense of purpose. Studies have actually proven this as well. Of course, charitable action should primarily benefit those in need. Especially now in winter, under the current conditions, more people are suffering than usual—whether from the physical cold or from loneliness. Monetary and material donations like warm clothing can help, but a conversation is also worth a lot. You can check on nextdoor.com to see where help is needed or participate in (church-organized) campaigns such as Christmas dinners for homeless people. Social services, church congregations, and volunteer organizations can always use someone who wants to get involved in one way or another.
• You can learn more about cultivating a sense of community here.
• If you would like to learn more about Christmas and charity, read on here.
